Chemistry Test

No matter what I tell myself, it's impossible not to be excited about the possibility of finding someone. Dating this past year has been fun but I can't say I'm looking forward to another year (or more) of it. I can't say I'm looking for a long term relationship either unless someone really spectacular were to come along, but the next few months with someone special would really hit the spot (no pun intended).

I think it's cocky to say that one is "picky" when it comes to choosing a partner. I just have my preferences, which I think are specific enough to dramatically ease the flow of suitable men my way to a mere trickle. It's not even a conscious choice. If they don't have the IT factor, I'm not interested. I don't have a "type". It's more about their character and personality than their look. Unfortunately, the good looking ones think/know they're all that and usually aren't very intellectually sharp. I'll admit I tend to discriminate against handsome men. They just don't surprise me too often.

But this one has surprised me. He's tipped me momentarily off my feet, and I'm either going to fall into his arms or into the abyss of disappointment. So far so good. Though I've been remotely interested in three people this year, I was only truly excited by JP, and we all know how that turned out. This one seems a lot like me. In fact, he seems more "me" than anyone I've ever met. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing I've no idea, but it makes for some looong, hilarious, eye-opening, intense conversations. And yes, he's hot to boot...at least from what I've seen.

That's right, I haven't actually met him. I hope I like him as much in person as I have thus far. The first guy I met this way (a smart and sexy psychiatrist) I ended up dating for a few months. I knew I'd like him and I did. It was just a matter of transfering my liking from a voice/picture to an actual body. Some people use the first couple dates as a filter but that's not really how I work. The ones that get a first date are already better than the rest. (Last Dateboy slipped under the radar - blame it on boredom.) Unless this guy has some kind of facial tick or gruesome deformity chances are I'll probably like him. I just wonder whether he'll feel the same way.

I am reluctant to meet, even though I know he wants to. That's what sucks about chatting and talking on the phone for so long. It creates this involuntary expectation and anticipation, and I don't want to disappoint or be disappointed. I know I'm contradicting myself. I should have more confidence in myself and my "filtration process", but at times like these all your insecurities flare up like a bad case of acne, and you start to doubt yourself no matter how brilliant and a catch you really are. I guess you can be all of these things and still not have chemistry with someone. You can't fake that shit. I should know, I failed Chemistry miserably my first year in college.

So I guess we'll see...He leaves on Friday to spend the holidays back home with family and won't be back until after New Year. So if I don't meet him this week it won't be for a few more weeks. I guess it's pointless to drag this out any longer. Might as well find out now instead of wasting the next couple weeks thinking about it. Hell, if it doesn't work out I've always got Bromont, right?