Call Me

Pat, that older guy from down the street with whom I had dinner a few weeks ago, left me a third message last night. I know I never should've agreed to go out with him in the first place but I clearly have trouble saying no judging the from the large number of dates I've gone on over the last year with guys I knew weren't my type. I'd initially thought that it was his age (confirmed to be 41) that turned me off but over dinner I realized that that wasn't it as I've been interested in men only slighter younger than him. He just didn't do it for me and so I decided that Pat would go the way of J4 and not be granted a second chance. No more pity dates.

He called back a day later and left a message asking to see me on the weekend. I called back when I knew he wasn't in and left a message saying I was busy ALL weekend, thinking that he'd get the hint (who doesn't have even a moment to spare all weekend?) He called again early this week. I screened and didn't return his call. He called again yesterday evening. I'm sorry but is consistently ignoring and not returning a person's calls not a clear enough indication of disinterest?? I knew a response was in order since I'll probably be running into him in the street before too long so I left him a message this morning apologizing for not getting back to him sooner as I had met someone. There. Tsk. Tsk. I really should learn how to play the Boyfriend Card to avoid getting myself in these situations.

But Pat's "aggressiveness" made me realize this: when I like a guy, I want him to call. I want him to be persistent. I wouldn't want him to wait the requisite 48 hours before calling me. In fact, if I really liked him and thought he liked me I'd be a little insulted if he waited 3 days before calling. Nothing makes a girl so happy as to hear from the guy she likes within 24 hours of a great date. She'll like him even more because of it. Everyone is so concerned with playing this game where you pretend you're not that interested that we've forgotten how good it feels when someone does something really romantic like calling you from the car after you've kissed goodnight. JP did that the first time we went out - called me from a payphone on his walk home to tell me he'd had a great time. I just about died I was so happy.

So here's my advice, to guys in particular: If you like someone (and think they like you) just CALL them as soon as you want to. If they like you they'll be thrilled and if they don't they'll at least be flattered. You can't go wrong. I wasn't into Pat but I still appreciated that he liked me enough to call so soon after our date. (It was the subsequent calls that annoyed me.) I don't know anyone who, if they already liked someone, would stop liking the person and deem them desperate for calling too soon. It tougher than it looks to find someone you're really into who's also into you so why waste time and potentially shoot yourself in the foot by pretending you're not that into each other when you are? We should all be so lucky, right?