The Conquest

Over the weekend I heard from and had an unexpected date with J, the primary source of my sexual frustration at the beginning of this year and whom I hadn't seen since I gave up on him in mid-February. I finally know what it feels like for a guy to be with a girl who just won't put out. I'd call him a cock tease except that I don't have one and I really don't think he's doing it on purpose. He's just not much of a ladies man despite being 29 years old and quite cute.

Our date a few nights ago was thankfully not as G-rated as our previous get-togethers but it certainly did not go the way I would've intended. On my "walk of shame" home the next morning (the only shame being that not enough happened) I came to the realization that when it comes to J, I'm really only after one thing and I'm not afraid to admit it. It has become the pink elephant in the room. The only reason I'd continued to see him was because I was hoping for a repeat performance (and more) of our first date but if I were to somehow know that things would never physically progress between us I'd forget about him completely. I'm finally thinking like a man, at least where he's concerned.

The frustrating thing is that the chemistry is excellent when he just relaxes a little but, as I've come to expect, he'll abruptly turn the stove off just as things are starting to heat up and frankly I'm tired of it. Chemistry or no chemistry being a sissy definitely takes away from your sex appeal.

I'm not sure when or if I'll see him again and whether I should tell him about how I feel. I can foresee such a direct, mature conversation making him very uneasy. I may find some way of bringing it up but I have a feeling he just won't get it, which is why he's in this mess in the first place. The poor boy is clueless.