A Double Standard

Sometimes I wish I were a guy. Would a single guy say no if a hot girl asked him out because the girl didn't call soon enough? Would a guy take it upon himself to teach the hot girl a lesson by ignoring her calls? Would a guy worry about being perceived as an easy tramp by the hot girl if he allowed himself to be seduced by her? Hell no. He'd probably just fuck her, smoke a cigarette, and show her the door.

I heard from Blind Date this afternoon who I haven't seen since our date in mid-March. He has, however, called or emailed me four times since then and has now asked me out twice, but both times for the very night he was calling and both times I had other plans. Is it purely arrogant for me to expect him to put more effort into it and calling earlier even though I've put absolutely no effort in myself? Am I playing a great Bitch by not wasting my time on someone who won't trouble himself for Moi? Or am I just being anal (no pun intended) and depriving myself of a good time with a very sexy man from whom I want nothing more?

Maybe I'm being particularly hard on Blind Date because I already have one part-time lover that I hate that I can't say no to. It's like I'm trying to overcompensate and demand respect from Blind Date, who's a stranger to me and doesn't really owe me anything, instead of from Jay, who's supposed to be my friend but who definitely hasn't tried as hard as Blind Date. And yet I was willing to see Jay in a moment's notice a few nights ago precisely because he's also my friend. If anyone deserves a tongue-lashing (not that kind of tongue-lashing) for his spontaneous/insensitive behaviour it's Jay. I'm less forgiving of Blind Date and that's a double standard that's not really fair to him or me.

I guess, in the end, this isn't about Blind Date at all but about my displaced annoyance with Jay. I'm no where near wanting a relationship or anything of the sort with him but I do expect more consideration from him, especially given our friendship, than what I feel I'm getting. The thing between Blind Date and me was just physical and I can appreciate that. What I don't want is for it to become only that between me and Jay. Ironically, we've lost some of the intimacy and closeness we'd previously had. Our situation isn't (yet) such that it'll be difficult to go back to being just friends, but we should probably do that soon before things get more complicated. I dare say we had more fun as friends.

So what does this mean for Blind Date? Should I ditch him or should I just use him for what he's pretty damn good at? I mean, it'd be a shame to let that go to waste. Plus, the fact that I'm actually attracted to someone is a rare treat indeed. Why can't what's good for the gander be even better for the goose?