Choices Choices

Kay's about a week late for her period this month. We all want to believe it's because she's under an usual amount of stress having just bought and moved into her new house and not that she might actually be pregnant by her on-again-off-again-barely-divorced boyfriend.

She wondered aloud what she would do if she were pregnant; what he might ask her to do. Would she, could she get an abortion? She and I are pro-choice but what might've been a choice when we were 18 isn't so easily an option at 28. If we're old enough to own property, clearly we're old enough to take responsibility for our actions.

I accept and even look forward to Motherhood as an upcoming stage of life but I can't say I feel the pangs quite yet. It's hard to want the child when you don't even know the man with whom that child will be created. Being a single mom of two dogs I'm painfully aware of how much more difficult it would be to raise children alone, so for now, at the still-relatively-young age of almost-28, my desire to have a baby is still dependent upon my first finding the One.

If I were to get pregnant right now I'm not sure what I would do. There's always that chance every woman takes when she decides to terminate a pregnancy that she might never be able to conceive again. She might one day pray for something that she asked to have torn from herself today.

Sometimes I think about what it'll be like when "he" and I will be waiting and wishing for the test to be positive. How odd yet exciting to think that that day will eventually be here, and then every choice going forward becomes a joyous one: pink or blue, Aidan or Olivia. Many decisions lie ahead. I just hope neither Kay (nor I) need to make the most pivotal of all choices any time soon.