Friends With Benefits

I've been hanging out a lot with my ex Jay lately. Since that evening in November the tension between us has been building slowly and steadily. Considering the number of platonic sleepovers we've had in the last three months I'm surprised it took this long for something to happen. I was slightly worried that it'd be awkward between us given that we hadn't been together since like, 1994, but it wasn't the case at all.

It's nice that Jay and I we have this history together, are still attracted to one another, and can occasionally be "affectionate" without either of us wanting to date the other, though neither is dating anyone seriously at the moment. I'm better able to recognize and accept this for what it is now than I would've a few years ago, with anyone else, or under any other circumstance. I'm sure any of Jay's groupies would gladly change places with me but when I look at him I still see the boy I dated in high scool. I'm unimpressed by his rock star image. Maybe that's part of my allure.

In other news I met the most gorgeous boy over the weekend. A very Abercrombie & Fitch type who I thought was totally out of my league. Even though I was with my two billowy blond bombshell friends he and I paired off right away. And you know the victory tasted sweeter cause my girlfriends couldn't stop drooling over him. Oh, and he was barely 23 (does that make me a Cougar?) but very sweet, successful, and mature. What a weekend. I feel like I've been through a marathon, which, ahem, I guess in some ways I have. When it rains it pours, Kay said. Amen to that!

Being in a relationship for so long it's normal for one to doubt one's charm and attractiveness. It's funny that being single can actually boost one's self-esteem. Granted the people I've met haven't been, in my opinion, boyfriend material but they've been great place holders until I decide I'm ready and/or the right one comes along. Who needs Joy Toyz? Abercrombie Boy-Toyz in single file please.