Gadar

I'm a pretty touchy-feely person. Growing up the youngest of four I was the recipient of many cuddles and kisses from family members. I grew up thinking it was a normal way to express our genuine affection for one another and I make it a point to smother my own (4) nephews and (2) nieces in hugs and kisses whenever I see them. Let me tell ya, it's as nice to give affection as it is to receive it and as far as I'm concerned we don't do it enough on a daily basis.

When did we become so deathly afraid of touch? It seems we've become accepting, even desensitized, to sex on TV and today's generation is indeed more aware of their sexuality but what about the simple act of hugging someone or being close to them? I guess geography and culture is partly to blame. It's not a myth that the idea of "personal space" is not as important in, say, latin countries as it is in western ones. I've seen the ground around public telephones marked to remind people to keep their distance. I find this sad somehow.

I recall the exact moment I realized I had to behave differently with friends than I did with family. In 7th grade I kissed my best friend on the cheek while she was sleeping and turned around to a chorus of, "Ewwww! Lesbian! Lesbian!" from the other girls. I learned very quickly that hugs were acceptable but kisses far less so. Nevetheless as we got older the hugs we used to exchange with some frequency as teenagers have become two-cheeked "air" kisses. What's next? A tilt of the head from across the room?

I love an occasional platonic snuggle with a male buddy that I really care about. I would liken the way I feel about some close friends to my affection for a sibling or relative. It's cool if there's a vibe too, enough to make it interesting but weak enough that it's not really an issue. I think maybe I need a gay friend. That way, we can both cuddle to our hearts content without worrying about what it "means". My sister adores her gay pal, Will, and my friend Sandy has Manu. Now how to go about finding one of my very own...